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The results of the interviews and observations showed that the bereaved caregivers were more resilient than the participants who had not lost a loved one to cancer, but they were also more affected by the loss. The caregivers had become more practical in their lives and found more meaning in life. The participants had been able to reintegrate the loss into their lives with the help of the support offered by the clinicians. They had been able to find ways to cope with their grief, and had been able to do so in ways that helped them move on with their lives.
As a long-term follow-up to a project on end-of-life experiences,2 and in response to a request of clinicians and scientists, this project examines the process of death and bereavement among a cohort of people who have lost a loved one to cancer. The project started with a needs assessment, both in the domain of the participants and in the domain of the researchers. Interviews were conducted with bereaved caregivers and cancer patients, with emphasis on the period immediately following the death of the loved one. The interviews were analyzed in light of the bereavement literature and specifically focused on the period from one month to two years post-loss. The analysis found that the caregivers and patients expressed a range of emotions, from depression to anxiety and anger, and also felt a need to find meaning in the loss. The caregivers appeared to have experienced the loss as something that was unexpected and therefore inherently not under control, leading to feelings of powerlessness and loss of agency. The caregivers noted a lack of preparedness for a range of experiences, from personal loss to the death itself, and lack of communication with health care providers. On the other hand, patients had experienced the death as something that was long-anticipated and could not be avoided. As a consequence, they felt a sense of finality, resignation, and loss of agency and control.
When I was in graduate school, about 10 years ago, I had a professor who had lost his mother. He was a very nice guy, and he was a wonderful teacher, and I liked him. So I was very sad when he had to retire because of health problems. His older students took him to a ballgame one day, and I was there in the stands watching. They were very friendly, and suddenly he was off to the side talking to someone else. It was obvious that he had had a falling out with his mother. I went over to him and asked what was up. He told me that he wasn't going to his mother's funeral, and that he was very angry about it. He had had a tense relationship with his mother, and while he loved her, he felt that she had made a number of mistakes in her life, and he had wanted to put them right. He had been in the middle of doing just that when she died, and he had felt that he had to let her go, because she needed to be at peace. He had expected her to be happy that he was going to put her issues right, but she wasn't happy. She was angry. He was angry at her for being angry. 827ec27edc




